The Library of Table

Given an infinite combination of games & food . . .

Time Chefs!

So, for the VeganMoFoes out there who don’t know me, I’m a gamer. Specifically one who roleplays. Dungeons & Dragons and all her descendants.

But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no! I also design roleplaying games. My latest being about temp workers who are hired to travel in time and make sure history happened the way it happened. It’s called, cleverly enough, Time & Temp.

This means two things when it comes to this post (beyond just a crass plug for my game).

Thing 1: I’ve been thinking about time travel a lot these days. Perhaps too much.

Thing 2: I attended GenCon this past August, where I got the chance to sit down with a bunch of Jeepers and talk shop over a bowl of Indonesia peanut sauté noodles (with grilled tofu).

We discussed a great many games and game ideas, but the one that is relevant right this minute, the one that required that whole boring ass intro you just read through was this: Time Chefs!

A cooking competition in which the chefs were unfettered by the normal temporal boundaries, able to travel anywhere and anywhen in time to find the perfect ingredients to make the perfect meal.

The culinary and causal implications of this were enormous. My mind reeled at the gastronomical possibilities. I mean, not only could you get the freshest ingredients, but you could plant tomato seeds now for a tempeh, lettuce and tomato sandwich and harvest that tomato . . . now.

Temporal PantrySo let’s do a little bit of roleplaying here. I’ll set the scene.

The lights have just come up.

The audience is applauding.

You and two other contestants are standing in the middle of a circular arena, surrounded by assistants and the very latest of kitchen appliances—including a stylish, sea foam green Browne Chronometric Engineering Quantum Pantry™ looming behind you.

Through that pantry, you can pluck any ingredient from the annals of history, prehistory, and beyond! As long as it is/was/will be vegan. [Little known fact: Vegan ingredients are not only the better choice for moral, environmental, nutritional, blah, blah, blah reasons, but also much less likely to cause a reality-annihilating temporal paradox when snatched from their proper place in time and space.]

Your host, Chairman Kang, announces your names and the contest begins. You have 60 minutes and all of time to make the perfect meal. What do you make? How far will you travel? What ingredients will you collect? Breadfruit from the H.M.S. Bounty? Newton’s apple? Adam and Steve’s forbidden fruit?

I want to see your grocery list.

As a cautionary tale about the gastronomical dangers of time travel, I’ll leave you with the last two minutes of “The Two Doctors.” It may seem a bit incomprehensible, especially if you’ve never seen this particular or any Doctor Who episode, but I think it ends on a note upon which we can all agree.

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2 Comments»

  veganf wrote @

I’ll have to pick your brain when my kids start going to GenCon with my husband to work his booth. I’d imagined vegan food would be scarce in and around the convention center.

  Epidiah wrote @

The greatest news for vegan gaming nerds is that a Noodles & Company opened up right next to the convention center in Indianapolis. Relatively cheap, fast, tasty meals, with about three or four decent vegan options.

Next year there should be a vegan GenCon meet-up.

What booth is your husband at?


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